sweet and tender hooligan.

What’s the point of dressing up if you didn’t shower? What goes through your mind before you walk out the door and while you look at yourself in the mirror? Something along the lines of, “Damn, I look fly as fuck so no one will notice the fact that I smell like ass, balls or sneeze”…or worse, the trifecta. Dressing nicely gets canceled out by bad hygiene. Why isn’t this common knowledge?

Today was the funeral, interment and a couple of other things that sort of grouped together to result in a big blur. It was rough but my whole family was there for mutual support so it helped a whole lot. It’s a shame that it takes such unfortunate circumstances for us to get together but it’s also comforting to know that when you truly need them there, they show up.

I saw and heard things that reminded me of one important part of life and that is not to take your time here for granted. If you love someone, tell them every chance you get. Show them that they matter and that you appreciate them. It’s a running cliche that we are programmed to realize this during tough times but when things seem fine we don’t strive to make them better. We don’t go out of our way to do these things or at least I don’t. Why? Why should we have to feel like an elephant is on our chest with anxiety, worrying about someone’s health or their well being to visit or call? Why does it work that way? I’m notorious for not returning phone calls. I’m expected to do my own thing and not include many if any but I wish it was a bit different. I know I have the power to change that but it won’t happen at once.

My rambling and lack of complete sentences today is a result of my mind being all over the place.

I’m still making sense of it all.

There’s no “I” in team… but there is “me” and it becomes more and more apparent that that’s who I should worry about because no one else will.